Plumber Snake

Deadly to the sawdust bunny, the plumber snake is an anal-retentive creature that lives in pipes, sinks and toilets. These creatures are fastidious about cleanliness, except for their butt-cracks, which are typically visible near their ironic snake-skin belted jeans. Illustrated below, the Enhydris goooii has already been spotted in our renovation. It has a photographic memory, so it can remember exactly what bit of slime was trapped in which pipe, not that it wants to remember, mind you. It does tend to travel rear end first into stinky situations, but it doesn’t like it. Some members of this species have been measured at almost 25 feet in length.


The above image is just a preliminary artists rendition. Plumber snakes are generally unhappy creatures. If you had to eat what they eat, you wouldn’t be happy either. All it really wants is a nice bath, and some hasenpfeffer.

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